Izakaya

An izakaya is a small, local Japanese style bar. Usually very small, walking into one immediately presents you to the regulars and the staff. There is no place to hide. As a local watering hole, the whole point is to be a part of that particular izakaya's in-group.

All of which adds up to a daunting task. Do you want to become a regular, knowing it will take many visits before you are greeted warmly, instead of with disdain and teasing?

Aaron n I decided to kill some time with Jade at an izakaya near our train station. We'd been there once before, somewhat successfully fended off the stares and pointed questions. This time was a bit more interesting...

The three of us walk in, immediately exciting the barkeep and the regulars. The barkeep cannot keep his eyes off us. Out and out staring. [Note: staring is just as rude in Japan as it is in the US] Then the questions. The fun part being the drunken regulars, who were too shy to ask us directly, so used the waitresses as messengers. Upon learning that Aaron n I were hitched, they cheered and toasted their own intuition. Then the attention turned to Jade: Boyfriend? Yes- Japanese? No- ALT? Ah, all the ALTs date each other. Here's my phone number! Oh, and mine! Yes, you just said you had a boyfriend, so? Hey, wifey- don't let her throw out my number!

Interesting times at the izakayas.

Kitties

Cats say "nyah nyah."

Two is pronounced "ni."

February 22nd is Japan's Cat Day- nyah nyah nyah!

Loving

Nure ochiba zoku-- clammy, fallen leaves or a retired husband who, having retired, sticks to his wife like a sodden mass.

Many wives find the newly ever-present husband an extreme annoyance. Some develop Retired Husband Syndrome [seriously! This is a diagnosis!] while others choose divorce.

But hope is not lost! Read on:

Japanese men turn on charm
By HIROKO TABUCHI

TOKYO — Mitsutoshi Fukatsu has been with his wife for
three decades, but their lives have grown apart. As
a busy stationmaster in central Japan, he has usually
come home only to eat, bathe and sleep.

Now with retirement looming, he wants to get to know
his wife better. He calls her by her name, Setsuko,
instead of just grunting. And he says he recently
learned a new phrase: "I love you."

Fukatsu, 56, is among a small but growing group of
men who took part in Japan's second annual "Beloved
Wives Day" last week in hopes of salvaging their marriages
by doing something different — paying attention to their wives.

"For about a year now, I've been starting to help out
with the housework," Fukatsu said. "I can't stay at
my company for ever. I have to return home. But right
now, I don't feel like I have a place there."

 Last year, the Japan Adoring Husbands Association
set itself up and designated Jan. 31 as a day for men to
return home at the unusually early hour of 8 p.m.,
look into their wives' eyes, and say, "Thank you."

On Wednesday, the village where the association is
based held a renewal-of-vows ceremony for a local
couple in their 50s and handed out prizes to three
top "doting husbands."

The movement is small — about 230 people posted
messages on the group's Web page about this year's
event. But it represents quite a change for a
generation of Japanese men taught to care about
their companies first and their wives a distant second.
Among the forces driving the change are demographics and money.

This year, the first postwar baby boomers will reach
60 and retire, meaning an unprecedented number of
men will have to abandon their home-away-from-home — the
all-consuming office — and spend more time with their wives.

Meanwhile, an impending law change gives a housewife a
bigger share of her husband's pension, which could
trigger a surge in divorces as women take the money and run.

Japan's divorce rate is relatively low — 2.08 per
1,000 couples — but the number has increased more
than 60 percent since 1985 to 261,917 in 2005, according
to government statistics.

Divorce among those married for more than 20 years
has grown the fastest, nearly doubling since 1985 to
more than 40,000 couples in 2005 — with separation more
likely to be initiated by women. That leaves their
ex-husbands to face a lonely old age in a country
where the average male lifespan is more than 78
years, one of the world's longest.

Sadao Ito, 67, wishes he had been more sensitive to
his wife's feelings. She left him seven years ago,
just as he was facing retirement from a busy office
job in the northern city of Sendai. Even the
couple's daughter and two sons blame him for the breakup, Ito
said.

"My wife took care of me so well. She made me
breakfast every day, and did all the housework. But
I never did anything in return," he said.

Ito now acts as a volunteer adviser to the Adoring
Husbands Association, which was founded in 2005 in
Tsumagoi village, north of Tokyo.

"Repent, repent, repent. That's what I do every
day," Ito said. "My wife didn't take a single family album
with her. I realized then that I had driven her
away."

Tsumagoi, whose name sounds like the words "wife
love" in Japanese, is marketing itself as a romantic
destination for married couples.

Last year, it invited couples to an event called
"Shout Your Love from the Middle of a Cabbage Patch"
— where husbands took turns hollering romantic
messages against a backdrop of Tsumagoi's wide open fields.
About 100 people came.

That was where Mitsutoshi Fukatsu finally told his
wife, Aishiteru (I love you) — rehearsing it 20
times.

"I had never told Setsuko I love her — not like
that. But now I want to say it more often. ... It feels
nice," he said.

Touch Ok?

Apparently my pheromones were shooting out like stars in a meteor shower-- within the same week, I had a plethora of students caressing my hair, patting my stomach, and asking about my cup size. After chatting about the differences in Japanese and American bust measurements, my girl student asks "Touchy ok?" I looked around, buying time, when a series of open-palmed punches were delivered. Good thing I like my bras padded.

Games to Play at School

1. Walk to and from class with your JTE. Instead of your usual role as conversation supplier, be silent. See how long until your JTE will initiate a conversation. Discussing the weather does not count as a conversation.

2. Hide behind a corner. When students pass by, fall in with them, keeping pace. See how long until the students notice you. Points for eliciting "Bikkuri shita!" [You suprised me!]

3. #2 variant. Hide behind a corner. Just before students pass by, jump out at them and yell. Points given for each girl who collapses on the floor laughing, for each step taken backwards, and every 30 sec consumed by students fighting for breath and saying "Bikkuri shita." Extra lively crazy points for wearing a tiger mask.

4. Tell your school of a problem at your house [waterbox, no screen covering the hole in your wall, etc]. See how long until the problem is addressed. Then see how long until the problem is fixed. No points if the issue is solved within a week.

Natto Scandal!

One of our kaiwa students told us how she watched an infotainment show lauding natto. This show claimed that eating natto twice a day would help dieters lose weight, as well as just giving your body lots of helpful nutrients. She was so convinced to increase her natto intake that the very next day she went out to buy some. And all the stores were out! ALL of them!

Later that week the TV producers of this show owned up to fabricating info on this natto diet.

I feel for all the poor people who actually ingested this stuff.

Name Game Jikaku

The bio teacher, Ishii, invited Aaron and I over for dinner. We were super excited, Ishii is really fun, and we'd get to meet his wife [they got hitched back in Aug]. We had a great time, rolling temakizushi [the cone-style sushi] and looking through their Italian honeymoon pics.

As Reika is already pregnant [and due in May! Guess Italian food is fortifying!], they've been looking into baby names. Ishii's first name is Yoshitake, and his total name kanji have 25 strokes. Therefore, this 25 is a propitious number of strokes for the baby to have in her name. They want to name the baby Sayako, so they're tearing through kanji, looking for kanji reading Sa Ya with many strokes.

Confused? To clarify: Think of the name TOM, and imagine that each letter is taught to be written only one way: the T is a two-stroke letter, the O is only one stroke, and the M has four strokes. If you add them up you get seven, a lucky number in many cultures. The characters used to write Japanese can get much more complicated, with some having many strokes, but the number of strokes is known for each one and never varies, and the total number of strokes that make up both the given name and the full name is usually considered when choosing a name for a new baby. There are books that can tell you by the total number of strokes in your name whether it's lucky, unlucky, or neutral; and not only that, they'll tell you in what way it's lucky or unlucky.

Whew! Super interesting, but I just imagine the never-ending chain of father to child, with the strokes becoming more and more numerous until they rise up and crush you under their weight.

Thailand Accomplishments

Two cooking classes equals gloriously full tummies and culinary secrets.



Muy Thai is cool.


Outdoor eating has been much missed in Japan. Also, frog is tasty but does not taste like chicken.

[picture deemed unworthy for viewing]
Sleeper trains are cool in theory, but the reality is nowhere near as cool as shown in "North by Northwest."

New Year's!

After sampling Bangkok and Koh Chang, we headed up to the mountains of Chiang Mai. We spent a great week there, had some clothes made, wandered the Night Market, took some cooking classes, and generally lounged around.




Every night we could see a trail of orange lights in the sky. There were so many, that it looked like a creamsicle Milky Way. After a few days of wondering, we finally chanced upon a source. See, the Thais looooove their king. There are pictures of him in every restaurant, every hostel, on the backs of tuk tuks. And this year was a big anniversary, so even though the anniversary had past, citizens were encouraged to remember the king by wearing yellow [royal color] and lighting lanterns on New Year's.



New Year's was pretty organized, with countdowns and fireworks. A drunken ex-pat at our bar tried to send off one of the lanterns. But she didn't plan well, and the lantern got stuck in the utility wires above the bar. Hilarity ensued as people tried to swipe at the lantern with a broomstick 8 feet too short. Eventually the wind freed the lantern to join the sky parade.

Aaron as an Album Cover

These red trucks are a crossbreed of taxis and buses. Tuk tuks are more famous, but the drivers are more likey to fleece you. The red trucks run general routes. You just flag one down-- if they're heading your way, you agree on a price and hop in. Often times they have family or friends riding along for a ways. We had fun watching one read his English phrasebook at every stoplight, while another's kid was goofing around with dino toys. Nice slice of everyday life in these trucks.

Grooming

Love, love, love the Thai grooming sensibilities. As a 3rd world country, Thailand is pretty damn dirty. But the dirty surroundings only accentuate the cleanliness and style of the citizens. And to help in the upkeep, grooming services are damn cheap! Aaron and I each had 2 haircuts, a teeth cleaning, and 3 massages. The only sad part is that while we look awesome, we don't really look like ourselves...



The stylishness extends to the animals. Neutering hasn't really caught on in Thailand, but neither has animal control. There are piles of dogs and dog poo everywhere. But when a dog is a pet, it is immaculate! And usually clad in a T shirt.